Squad Goals – Going Deep (… and also a tribute to some of the most incredible women I know!)

Here we go… Man, this blog is seeing me write about something that is so, so, so close to my heart! I am so pumped and I hope you are too, my precious reader!! Here’s the thing; we were not made to do life alone, it’s not in our DNA! We were made to live this crazy life with wonderful people by our sides that lift us up when we’re struggling, remind us of who we are and also make us more of who we’re meant to be; and then we do the same for them as well! It is an exquisite blessing from God that we get the immense privilege to do life closely and deeply with others! It is something that I truly believe that we need to cultivate in our daily lives and it makes life more vivid, real and joy filled!

Now, we are going to hear from some of the amazing people that fill and expand my life to bursting! They are so, so wise, it’s awesome!!!

Firstly, Savannah and I are basically the same human in a way. God outdid himself when He orchestrated that Savannah (Sav) and I would meet. I found my best friend in the whole world and a soul and sparkle sister. I thank God every day for Sav. She is a complete angel; as well as being fierce, fearless, stunning inside and out, passionate and so, so wise and deep. She makes me a more wonderful version of me every day and I love her sooo much! Here is what she has to say about the need for strong and spiritual female relationships in our lives…

“ I think it’s extremely important to surround yourself with encouraging and Godly women! It’s inevitable that you become who you hang out with! When I spend a lot of time with someone who is negative, I find myself becoming more and more negative. That’s why I strive to have an encouraging and kind inner circle of people! My people make me want to strive to be a better person! These are the friends I call or message when I need advice, and they’re able to speak God’s truth into my life! “ 

“The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.”  Proverbs 27:9

 “I think it’s incredibly important to surround yourself with women who can encourage you, pour into you, and who you can pour into as well! True princesses fix each other’s crowns, and I’m thankful to have true princesses in my life!!”

Isn’t Savannah the best?! And it only gets better! Here is what she has to say about what she thinks God thinks about strong and deep female friendships and soul sisters…   “I think God loves strong female friendships!”

 “A sweet friendship refreshes the soul!”  Proverbs 27:9

 “You use steel to sharpen steel, and one friend sharpens another.”  Proverbs 27:17

 “I think God makes it clear in the Bible that friendships are important! Just like He valued his friendship with the disciples, I think God wants us to seek friends who will sharpen us and encourage us. I believe as women we are able to encourage and uplift each other in a unique and beautiful way!”

AMEN!!!!!! Is all I have to say to that!!! Savannah is an angel that God has blessed me with in my life!!! He has angels for you too!

Now, Britt is an exquisite creation of God’s and a complete angel! It was a blessing from God to connect with this precious woman!! She is inspirational, spirit-filled and so wise! I definitely have learned and continue to learn so much from her. She has just become a mother and her little daughter, Naomi, is one of the most blessed gals. I cannot wait to see her grow up! This is Britt in her own words…  

“I love this sissy, this is so along with my heartbeat as well—why we are forever Kingdom sisters!!!! (AMEN)  Godly women in my life are a life line for me personally! I also think as we journey it is so important to intentionally be thinking of, praying for, and then setting aside those roles, even in categories: spiritual parents, mentors, accountability friends/sisters. To know the breakdown of why each is so vital is just so helpful—I think of it as important nourishment, just like eating or drinking every day. Those people are going to be more than just a support. They’re your keys to becoming more like Jesus and, “not just surviving but thriving”, as I always say! You truly are a reflection of who your tribe is. The Bible talks a lot about the covenant relationship we have with Jesus, just like in marriage, which essentially to me means ‘covering.’ I truly believe I have found and cultivated covering by surrounding myself with women who will lift me up when I’m not strong, remind me of my identity/who my Father is, and be prayer warriors in inevitably difficult times – and then I can do the same for them! Those relationships can literally be a protection/lifeline that you are under if you were not seeking it otherwise. For Spiritual Parents and Mentors, the unique relationship is about simply doing life and witnessing someone who may just be a bit farther along down their life path spiritually. They are people you can really look up to/emulate, because you’ve essentially seen them rise up, stand in testimony, and thrive! I would say an accountability partner or close Christian friend is more of someone who is with you in a season and you can just be real with them. They simply understand your struggles and can bear the weight of going through them with you. Each of these relationships is so unique from simply a friend or peer because they all are striving to have Jesus at the centre!”

Wisdom just flows out of Britt, it’s INCREDIBLE!!! She speaks specifically on strong female relationships here…

 “Women (over men!) are the ones God chose specifically to partner with directly in Creation! A really good mentor once gave me a book called ‘Creative Counterpart’ which is kind of about the latter fact (it was more of a marriage prep book, but alas!). The book basically describes how we, as women, are created uniquely to partner with God in ways men cannot, (and how submission is actually a glorious thing, because we aren’t giving up our rights, but rather are the strong Helper, which God even uses to describe Himself as at times!) Sadly, in the world we live in, it can be more common when thinking of ‘female relationships’ to be reminded of unhealthy signs, maybe even from ways we’ve been hurt in the past: lack of trust, gossip, backstabbing... but I have seen and believe there is such power in truly healthy female relationships! Thanks to Jesus we are able to live wildly radical, loving relationships of trying to put others first, trusting one another, speaking in honouring ways, and uplifting! We are of course all a work in progress, but I have seen and lived a redeemed lifestyle of having the most glorious female relationships and friendships, and there is simply nothing like it (it even carries a special significance for us that even family or spouses cannot fill in that way for us as women can)!”

All I can keep saying is AMEN and now, I cannot describe in words the fullness of how AMAZING, INCREDIBLE, INSPIRING, STRONG, EMPOWERED, EXQUISITE, BOLD and GODLY my Mama is. She is my best friend in the whole world and has modelled for me how a woman of God lives and thrives, so, so well. I thank God for her every day and this is what she had to share on female relationships and their importance…

“I think it’s very important for women to mentor each other in how to be a woman of God and how to celebrate that which makes us different to men - how our brains incorporate numerous data at one time, we are strong yet vulnerable, we are natural givers and we naturally create sisterhoods and intimate relationships. Ruth and Naomi in the bible are a brilliant example of the power and beauty of female relationships and how God honours them.”

I have an awesome Mama… and now, Jessamy has been my mentor for about ten years. That is a whole heap of life that I have lived and she has walked through with me! I thank God for her all the time. Having a mentor or multiple mentors is 100% one of the best decisions anyone can make, I believe! Mentors are people that are a little ahead of you in life but get you and inspire you in your own life growth. Jess and I see the world very similarly and she has walked and talked me through many a crisis, as well as celebrating many mountaintop moments too! Get yourself a mentor!! Now listen to Jess’ wisdom…

“Community is essential for any person to feel understood, loved and part of something greater than themselves. ‘No man/woman is an island’ stands true in areas of spiritual, mental and physical wellbeing. Studies have found that having strong friends and mentors promotes brain and body health and allowed for faster healing when sick. It’s just as important to our well-being as proper food and exercise! Many neglect putting time into people and put their resources into acquiring things or working instead, and find themselves libel and sad. You will never lie on your death bed wishing you had worked more or bought more, but instead potentially regret investing in relationships which lead to a full and vibrant life as it was meant to be lead. Friends/mentors challenge us and provide a space to grow and be heard. Without these people in our life we become self obsessed and caged. Friendships bring freedom! And yes, complications, but beautiful, colourful, rich and fun complications. Life is not meant to be boring. This network allows us a safe space to be truly ourselves and rest with those that love us. As a Christian these relationships take on an even more powerful importance as Jesus both exemplified and strongly advised that believers ‘continue meeting together’ to ‘encourage and spur each other on to love and good deeds’, thus advocating friendships as essential for living life to the full and well. The Bible also says that ‘as iron sharpens iron so one person sharpens another’ reminding us that the accountability that being in close relationship provides is necessary to continue growing and bettering ourselves as someone who loves us challenges and helps us in areas we are struggling with. That’s real love! Christian friends help each other look to God to find their love, joy and identity rather than let each other settle with looking inward or even to other people to find that - lifting each other’s gaze up and helping perspectives shift. We can’t do that alone especially when beset by strong negative emotions that hold our gaze down. Helping others bloom and grow and not letting each other stay stagnant is what we were created to do - hard but real! Jesus has many friends of varied types and loved them all in this way. The Bible is littered with stories of true friendship. Ultimately the Bible says that ‘greater love has no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends’, which Jesus showed in the ultimate act of true love on the cross. Mentoring and friendship does require sacrifice; of time, energy, money and sometimes sleep as you lie awake thinking about, worrying about and praying for those you love! But that is what holding each other up is. And it’s reciprocal.”

Jessamy has so much wisdom to share about the importance of strong, Christian and female relationships. She says…

“God basically demands (in a positive way) strong friendships in many ways! Jesus has super close male and female friends himself in the Bible - even when others disapprove, He exemplifies the importance of these networks. Biblical passages such as Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, cry the essential priority of walking alongside each other in friendship - ‘Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work; If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!’. In providing answers to prayers in many instances through the love and guidance/wisdom of others who love us, God shows the importance of friendship and relationship. This is anecdotal but none the less very true and experienced throughout life by Christians every day! Also God answers prayers for sad and lonely people in the shape of community and especially church family which is, friendships! And states that this should be the witness to the world of His love! ‘By this will all people know that you are my disciples by your love for one another’ (John 13).”

Moraig is another one of my mentors and we are both really similar and it is an absolute Godsend for me! When I talk to her about what I am struggling with, she listens and 100% understands and it is such a blessing for me. She then speaks graciously and gracefully in to my life and I am so, so thankful for that! Be encouraged by Moraig to cultivate Godly, female relationships in your life, right here…

“No one is capable of handling everything all on their own! God intentionally made us this way, that some needs would only ever be able to be fulfilled by meaningful connections with others. Also, men are great and all, and they have nice deep voices, but there are some things in a woman's life and experience that only another woman can fully understand and relate to. The different kinds of connections you build with other women will each uniquely impact you. Peers, or ‘sisters’, can relate to you by sharing the same kind of experiences as you are going through them. Mentors, or ‘big sisters/mothers’, bring the understanding of having already been through the stage of life you are currently in, and the wisdom of having learned from it. And mentees, ‘little sisters/daughters’, are those coming behind you on life's path, the special ones God brings into your life, for you to help them flourish in turn. All are precious, all bring their own kind of joy, and we need each of them. I think strong, female relationships are very close to His heart. God put half of His nature into women, and without that half, God's nature and character would not be fully manifested in humanity. And then on top of that, He didn't just make one woman and say ‘yep, just one's enough’...nope, He made millions of us to reflect those aspects of His character, because it's as a collective whole that the world sees Him in us. When women compete with each other, or keep distance from each other, instead of building trust and intimacy, we miss out on what we can create and become together. One woman alone is powerful and bears God's image; how powerful are two or more with hearts knit together? Do we want to find out? My answer is yes, every time!”

So there you have it! My mind is blown, I hope yours is too!! May you be encouraged to seek out strong connections and relationships in every facet of your life. I can promise you it’s in God’s design as the powerful women in my life have shared. I adore you all and blessings on you! Let’s live powerfully and connect and thrive!!!!

Love Mahalia xxx